thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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