TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
