I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
