id be glad to
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
