i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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