dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
