but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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