the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's always time for handjobs
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
