I smell stomach acid.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
