I want to stick my p in your. b.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
