It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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