is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
