Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
