She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
