So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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