Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
God I need to hump something, right now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
