So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
