Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
