he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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