Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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