pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
