Hey man sorry I got all grabby
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
