If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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