I look better un-naked...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
