i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize