Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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