Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
