I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize