Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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