He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
