My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
