I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
