i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
