im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
