Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
