fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
