you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
