After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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