I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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