On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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