high people should be assigned attendants
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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