I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
