I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
