I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
