Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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