He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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