Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
