So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
