She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
