She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
