a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
