Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
