I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
