You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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