i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
