he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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