its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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