every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
